I’ve got a new deadline for the next short story submission (or poetry) for the local magazine in my hometown. I’ve got until Halloween to write something. The theme is surprise and I’m working on a story right now. I’ve tried the last few times to submit my stories but I struggle to finish them. Maybe it’s the perfectionist in me, that gives me a sort of writer’s block. I wish I could just shut the door and shut out the world. I can’t, of course. My children are five years old and need help with just about everything. They started a pre-kindergarden class last fall and are entering kindergarden this fall. The difference? Not much. They are only in school two-and-a-half hours. Only enough time to get a little exercise, a shower and some breakfast. When they start grade one and are in school for a full day, I’ve told myself I should be going back to work full-time, put the kids in day care until I get home. Ugh.
I have my doubts that I’ll gain any more time to work on my writing when I go back to work full time. There’s still food to get on the table, kids to bathe and put to bed, before I get any time to myself. My husband has been good enough to give me an office with shelves for my books, a desk and a fancy comfy chair. But I don’t feel relaxed enough to write in that room, not yet. With the kids always knocking or walking in, hearing them play or argue through the door – not to mention the steady drone of the air conditioner outside my window – I’m not sure how I’m supposed to get anything done.
For now I’ll read and reread all of the novels on my shelf, go through the how-to-write books, and maybe try little exercises at a time. Just one page or one paragraph tops. I can swing that, right? And in the mean time I’ll keep working on my short story and see if I can finish it this time.
I do have something to look forward to. My sister is getting married in a couple of years. Her and her fiancé are saving up for an epic wedding in Ireland! In Dublin, specifically. She wants everyone in the family to come. I told my husband I’m not missing it. Going to Ireland is a bucket list item for me. I. Can’t. Wait.
It would be nice to say I’m a writer, not published once because I was lucky. I’ve got talent. I can get a novel published. It may take a little while longer than I planned but I can still pull it off. I got this.